OJ Simpson Getting Paid $3.5 million to "Confess"

O.J. Simpson to confess — hypothetically — in a new book called "If I Did It."

Ok Tom, breathe. There's no reason to get worked up about this. Ok, just... just put down the hole puncher. Throwing things won't help... here we go. We're calming down. Inhale. Exhale. There we go. No, no put down the lighter! Tom!

/lights self on fire

You're right. This feels much better.