Isiah Thomas... where do I even start?

Just finished reading this article. It's about Isiah Thomas "responding" to criticism. And by "responding" I mean acting like an insecure whiny little baby. To what I'm sure is your infinite gratitude, I'm going to dissect his quotes, ala Fire Joe Morgan.

"This so-called former Knick (ESPN analyst Greg Anthony), on draft night with millions of people watching, had the audacity to take me to task on a player that I'm pretty sure he had never seen before in his life (Renaldo Balkman)," Thomas said.

Anthony seems like a smart guy, and I'm sure he knew something of Balkman. He was, after all, covering a draft - you have to prepare for that. You can't just BS your way through it like you can a game; if you're unprepared for a draft, which is 95% actual analysis, it's going to get real apparent real fast. But let's go with what Isiah said and suppose he didn't know the first thing about Balkman. Don't you, Mr. Thomas, think it a bit odd that you're selecting players in the first round that draft analysts have never even heard of before?

"Greg Anthony should never ever be in a position to question myself on anything about basketball," Thomas said.

Um, EVERYONE is in a position to question you about basketball. May I remind you, Mr. Thomas, that you were the GM who put Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis in the same back court?! Anyone who knows the slightest thing about basketball can tell you the dangers of a ball-hogging point guard. So what do you do? YOU ACTUALLY PUT THE TWO MOST BALL-HOGGING POINT GUARDS IN THE LEAGUE ON THE SAME TEAM. Both of them!!! I can't emphasize this enough - putting Francis and Marbury on the same team might be the dumbest roster move in the history of sports. Not only because it failed miserably, but everyone knew it would fail miserably from the very beginning. I can remember Bill Simmons joking that Isiah would trade for Francis - and then Isiah went out and actually did it, like some sort of weird retroactive self-parody.

Not to mention how Isiah, in his first and only two years owning the CBA, bankrupted and utterly drove to the ground a league which had been around since 1946. So what did he do on the heels of such a spectacular failure? HE WROTE A FREAKING BOOK ON HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS. Just kill me now.

"This is between Greg and I."

Which is why you're talking to the media about it. And, oh where was it? Ah, here:

He said he hadn't spoken to Anthony.

That makes sense.

Thomas, seen here pondering whether to acquire Greg Ostertag. To play guard.

"I just thought he was very unfair to the Knicks organization," Thomas said. "It would be different had he not worn a Knick uniform. But for a guy who claims to have been a Knick, to treat the Knicks the way he treated us that night ..."

Greg Anthony was a Knick for four seasons, the last of which was in 1995. This is like calling out Jerome Bettis for criticizing the Rams (yes, he played for the Rams, but no one remembers, which is exactly my point). And if anything, players-turned-analysts lose their credibility when they don't criticize their former teams. We have enough homerism in the media as it is.

"I know a Piston would never do that. A Celtic would never do that. A Laker would never do that. It wouldn't happen. It just goes to show you what we're dealing with."

I... what? We're stereotyping NBA teams now? If the Celtics use their first rounder on a toaster oven, is Bill Walton under solemn duty to keep quiet? Or is it only if he's never seen the toaster oven in action?

Ugh, I'm too tired to do the rest. It goes on to mention how Isiah continued to insult Anthony even when asked unrelated questions. The fact that a man of his age could be this immature is, to be honest, frightening. And it all started because Anthony rightfully criticized the complete waste of a first round pick. I remember watching the broadcast- he wasn't even ripping on Balkman. He, along with the rest of the known universe, was questioning why Isiah simply didn't wait on Balkman. He's a second-round talent, so use a second round pick on him. Not. That. Difficult.

/screams in futility