Ta Da!

I've spend the past month slowly building up this new template. I got tired of the old one and wanted to try out blogger's new beta version, so here you have it. I've updated my links- including a list of my favorite lesser-known bands, a collection of wikipedia articles, more blogs and interesting sites, and I changed the host of the Conan 1864 baseball video to one that didn't have porn on it. I really wished I noticed that, like, a long time ago. Sorry.

It's still a work in progress, so don't be suprised to see a few minor changes (like you care). Like the new banner? It has my three favorite places - Fenway Park, the Wake Forest campus, and Lake Norman. It's also kind of seasonal - warm to cold to warm again. Although I didn't really plan on that. The sidebar now works correctly for internet explorer.

Scroll down to the bottom for randomness.

Biggest. Downgrade. Ever.

I'm watching Larry King Live. Considering my limited choice of channels, it's usually one of the more interesting things on. But Larry King isn't hosting tonight. Must be busy getting another divorce. The guest host?

Ryan Seacrest.

And get this, he's interviewing Aston Kutcher.

No word yet if Al Franken* will stop by to create the Unholy Trinity of Most Annoying People Ever.

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*Other acceptable punch line subjects were Keith Olbermann (quite possibly the most blatantly biased and unproffesional news anchor in history), Justin Timberlake, Michael Moore, Rosie O'Donnell, any girl from My Sweet Sixteen, Bill Mahr, my Torts professor, Stuart Scott, which ever sportswriter first began the "Jeter for MVP" campaign that has irrationally snowballed and spread like infected spinach, Alex Rodriguez, Roger Clemens and his 63 different "final games", Hillary Clinton, Stephen A. Smith, Bam Margera, the guy who sits next to me in Civ Pro who reeks of cigarettes, Madonna, Cindy Sheehan, me in the morning after 4 hours of sleep, and finally the guy on my hall who doesn't flush after #2ing. He has to pay.

What Did I Get Myself Into? - Oops, I Forgot to Sleep

In the What Did I Get Myself Into? series, I'll be chronicling my time as a law school student. Today's episode: Oops, I Forgot to Sleep.

Horray for my first law school all-nighter. At least my memo is looking super sexy. I'm hoping I can go the day without napping so I won't put my biological clock on nocturnal mode. Wish me luck.

Also, last night (tonight?) I finally had my first coffee since coming here. I think holding out for a over month with no coffee or energy drinks was pretty admirable for an overworked law student.

Anyway, I leave you with one of my favorite videos over at You Tube.

No Words Necessary

The 2006 L&L All-Rookie Team or: The Florida Marlins

I've never really done requests before. I feel like a lounge musician. So, this one's for you, Phantom, you crazy rookie-loving nut.

Catcher - Kenji Johjima, Sea. 17 home runs, Japanese.
First Base - Prince Fielder, Mil. 26 homers, .353 OBP, fat.
Second Base - Dan Uggla, Fla. 26 homers, 89 RBI, 103 runs, great name.
Third Base - Ryan Zimmerman, Was. 18 homers, 99 RBI, 81 runs, North Carolinian.
Shortstop - Hanley Ramirez, Fla. 64 extra base hits, 112 runs, 50 SBs, former Boston prospect.
Left Field - Josh Willingham, Fla. 25 homers, .364 OBP, born in Florence. Florence, Alabama, that is.
Center Field - ugh...
Right Field - Nick Markakis, Bal. 16 homers, .355 OBP, perfect name for a Red Sox (Mahkaykis!!!)

The candidates for center field are awful. Reggie Abercrombie (OPS .609)? Nate McLouth (OPS .678)? Brian Anderson (OPS .671)? Yeesh. Let's just throw first baseman-turned-left fielder Chris Duncan out there and be glad this team won't actually play defense.

And just to be stupid, a batting order:

1. Ramirez
2. Uggla
3. Willingham
4. Fielder
5. Zimmerman
6. Duncan
7. Markakis
8. Johjima

Rotation (no particular order)
1. Jered Weaver, LAA. 2.15 ERA, 96 k's in 108 innings, was a Dirtbag in college.
2. Francisco Liriano, Min. 2.74 ERA, 177 k's in 144 innings, awesome beard.
3. Josh Johnson, Fla. 3.10 ERA, 133 k's in 157 innings, really tall.
4. Justin Verlander, Det. 3.63 ERA, 128 k's in 181 innings, born in the Land of Gooches.
5. Scott Olsen, Fla. 3.87 ERA, 156 k's in 172 innings, from same town as Derek Jeter.

There was a crazy amount of great rookie starters this year. Honorable mentions to Rich Hill, Cole Hamels, Anibal Sanchez, Matt Cain, Chad Hensley, Chuck James and Jake Woods.

Bullpen
Closer: Jonathan Papelbon, Bos. 0.92 ERA, 35 saves, has a submarining younger brother.
Set-Up: Joel Zumaya, Det. 2.00 ERA, frequently tops 100 MPH.
Set-Up: Adam Wainwright, StL. 3.21 ERA, middle name is "Parrish."

I was able to put this team together after scouring the internet info for ten minutes and finding that ESPN can sort stats for rookies: hitters, pitchers.

Overall winners for AL and NL rookies? Liriano and Johnson, for the same reasons. Lots of innings, tons of strikeouts, and a tiny ERA. The rookie hitters this year, while good, were kind of underwhelming. Liriano and Johnson put up Cy Young-type numbers.

And to my three readers: sorry for the endless posts about baseball. I'll try to think of something else eventually.

An A-Rod Apologia

Note that "apologia" is Latin for "defense," and not "apology." Idiot.

Anyway, there's this big brouhaha over Tom Verducci's article in Sports Illustrated about Alex Rodriguez. A lot of what was said therein didn't quite sit right with me, so I've naturally decided to needlessly dissect it to no end. Enjoy!

From the first part of the article, we have some interesting language from Mr. Verducci. Emphasis mine.

"Rodriguez admitted early this month that his [overall] statistics can't erase the pain he felt during his three-month slip into a dark abyss... The slump (a word Rodriguez refuses to utter) revealed that for all his gifts, A-Rod may never be seen by Yankees traditionalists as worthy of his pinstripes."

A dark abyss? Is this really the direction we're going? Am I reading Sports Illustrated or The Bell Jar? Let's take a look at what Verducci called a "graveyard of a slump" and compare it to The Patron Saint of Pinstripes himself, Mr. Derek Sanderson Jeter.

First, Rodriguez's "dark abyss." The three month slump being referenced was June through August.

		G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	K	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
June		24	89	9	19	3	0	3	11	16	24	4	0	.213	.346	.348	.694
July		25	95	17	28	4	0	6	19	10	27	1	1	.295	.374	.526	.900
August		29	112	18	31	8	0	5	22	16	30	3	0	.277	.364	.482	.846

And now Derek Jeter, in the same months, during his glorious MVP-caliber reign of uber-domination:

		G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	BB	K	SB	CS	AVG	OBP	SLG	OPS
June		22	87	11	28	6	0	0	8	11	12	6	1	.322	.422	.391	.812
July		25	102	18	42	8	1	2	19	3	11	6	0	.412	.431	.569	1.000
August		30	122	24	36	5	0	5	18	17	24	7	1	.295	.392	.459	.851

(By the way, If you read the article, you'll notice how I'm actually using all the stats, whether it supports my argument or not, instead of using microscopic samples wherever most convenient, like pointing out a two-game stretch where Rodriguez had 7 strikeouts or a single at-bat where he swung at a bad pitch.)

So, anyone can notice that yes, Jeter was much better. A-Rod's June, considering his prior record, was horrific. But my point, much like my previous post, is that I fail to see a difference so substantial and extreme that Jeter can be viewed as being in the middle an MVP campaign while Rodriguez has apparently fallen into the very bowels of Hades. It looks like Rodriguez bounced back pretty nicely in July, posting a .900 OPS. And Jeter's and Rodriguez's respective Augusts were virtually identical. Is this really supposed to be 2/3 of a slump worthy of making the cover of SI?

Oh, I can hear you muttering under your breath. You're saying the expectations of Rodriguez are higher because of his $252 million contract. To that, I say: 1) good point and 2) technically speaking, several Yankees, including Jeter, are actually making more this season then our beloved A-Rod. So there.

(I deleted about five hundred words of material that originally was to belong here. It was about how A-Rod's Yankee teammates are pricks for criticizing him anonymously through the media. So, you're welcome.)

Alright, now that I'm finished throwing up (I was defending Alex Rodirguez after all), I'll get where the A-Rod bashing is well deserved. It has nothing to do with numbers, and everything to do with his attitude. He's got an awful stupid way of defending himself. It's not that hard to say "I know people are disappointed in me, and I hate that I'm not playing up to my potential, but I just have to come back to the clubhouse every day and keep focused on winning." Is this bland, over-used, cliched? You bet it is, and that's the whole point. Because otherwise, you end up saying things like this...

"A hundred players have come to third base and said, 'This is bulls---. You're having a great year.' You wonder why it bothers players so much. Tim Salmon, Andruw Jones, Chipper Jones, Garret Anderson ... I could throw you a hundred names. They're looking at the scoreboard and saying, 'This guy's got 90 RBIs and I've got 47, and I'm getting cheered?'" Translation: Other people like me! Especially the sucky ones who used to be good!

"My agent, Scott Boras, was talking about [Oakland third baseman] Eric Chavez, who's a great player. He's hitting .235. He's got 16 home runs, 43 ribbies? This guy is getting cheered every time he comes up to the plate. If I can look back on 2006 and see I made 25 errors, hit .285 and drove in 125, I mean, has God really been that bad to me?" Translation: See? That guy sucks more than me!

"Reggie hit .230 one year," Rodriguez said. "That's awful. He struck out 170-something times in a year. I don't care who you are, extremes are just part of the game. I was awful [in Anaheim], but Jeter was 0 for 32 [in 2004], Mo blew three games in one week [last year].... Everybody goes through it." Translation: but that guy and that guy and that guy have sucked too!

And with A-Rod's foot placed squarely in his mouth, he then decides to shove it all the way down. *Drum roll*

"When people write [bad things] about me, I don't know if it's [because] I'm good-looking, I'm biracial, I make the most money, I play on the most popular team...."

I officially take back everything I ever said in defense in A-Rod.

Carlos Guillen for AL MVP!

He's got a high batting average (.312) and a great on-base percentage (.393). He's hit a fair amount of home runs (19), he steals bases (18), and he plays shortstop for a first place team (record: 90-60). We shouldn't even bother to vote on this. It's so obvious - I mean, look at those amazing stats! Just give Carlos Guillen the MVP already. And even if you disagree, he's at least one of the front runners, right?

What's that? You think that's ridiculous? You think David Ortiz, Travis Hafner, Jermaine Dye, Jim Thome, Johan Santana, Jason Giambi, Alex Rodriguez, Manny Ramirez, Frank Thomas and countless others are all far more worthy of the MVP award? You know what... you're absolutely right.

Then why is Derek Jeter being mentioned in every debate about the AL MVP?

Like Guillen, Jeter has a high batting average (.345), a great OBP (.416), a moderate amount of homers (13), good amount of stolen bases (31), and plays shortstop for a first place team (current record of 91-59).

Listen, I'm not saying Guillen is just as good as Jeter. Every year, including this one, Jeter has proven himself as the superior player. But when you actually take an objective look at what each player has done this season, is there really much of a difference? A difference significant enough to justify one player being a MVP front runner and another going completely unnoticed? I mean, does anyone outside of Detroit even realize Carlos Guillen exists?

"I'm a person, too!!!"

This is the sad state of player awards in MLB. They're based almost completely on hype, popularity, and career achievement. The significance of the Gold Glove died in 1999, when Rafael Palmeiro won it despite playing just 28 games at first base (playing his other 135 as a designated hitter). The MVP became meaningless when Ichiro won it in 2001, with his .381 OBP and 8 HRs. Read those stats again. Three-eighty-one. Eight. If you want to be the MVP and you only hit 8 homers, you better hit like .500 and steal 120 bases. And manage the team. Otherwise, with those type of numbers, no player should ever even be considered for the MVP. And don't even get me started on Mark Redman being an All-Star.

So again, I address the issue of the post. Can there be any legitimate reason why Derek Jeter must be mentioned in any discussion of the AL MVP, while at the same time an argument for Carlos Guillen can be tossed aside as so obviously flawed? Is .033 batting average points really that important? The answer, as it appears to me, is no.

He's Baaaaaaaaaaaaack!

El Nino forms in Pacific Ocean.

Actually, this was all just an excuse to post a Chris Farley video.

According to Time Magazine, This May Be My Generation's "First Official Revolution"

So, what are all my peeps revolting over? Facebook, of course!

And to our credit, the "News Feed" feature is legitimately creepy. Sketchtastic, you might say. Do we really need such quick, easy, and public access to everything our "friends" do on Facebook? When relationships begin, end and reconcile all over again? When somebody joins a group? Leaves a group? Goes to a party? Leaves a message on a wall? Even the smallest profile change is recorded and logged. It's like everyone got "Big Brother" powers over night.

Seriously, if you have a Facebook account, go to your "home" and look at this damn thing. It's a giant two step guide to stalking. Step 1: look at your News Feed. Step 2: commence stalking.

"Le Facebook hast gone tu fah! Fire ze missiles!"

So after you check it out and agree that the line is a dot to Facebook, log out and run far, far away.

Will Ryan Howard Break The Non-Steroids Home Run Record?

First, let me explain my title.

Sadly, we might be back to square one with Maris and 61. The whole Bonds/McGwire/Sosa era is under a giant, black, thundering cloud of suspicion. I want to give players the benefit of the doubt, but for these three there's too much out there to take their numbers seriously anymore. There's a whole book connecting Bonds and steroids, Sosa used corked bats and freaked out at getting tested*, and McGwire politely declined to deny he used steroids, preferring to "not talk about the past."** Finally, they all set their records when there was absolutely no testing for performance enhancers. Thank you, Bud Selig.

"I solemnly swear to give lame excuses and dodge all your important questions."

Now, to Howard. He has played in 135 of the Phillie's 138 games, and has hit 53 home runs. That's an average of one homer every 2.6 games. Assuming Howard plays in all of his team's remaining 24 games, that comes to nine more home runs, leaving him with 62 for the season, just enough to pass Maris. ESPN's projections concur.

"This one's for all the clean guys out there!"

Suffice it to say, Howard is a beast. And now that we're playing in an era of testing, I can have at least a reasonable belief that he's clean. As a bonus, I get to watch him play on local TV since I'm 30 minutes from Philly. Do I think he'll pass Maris? Yeah, I do. If not, he'll get at least 60. He hit 14 in August and is only getting hotter. Look out for Mr. Howard.

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*For the record, I hate Rick Reilly, and this is just one of the reasons. That was a cheapshot interview. Reilly knew that the Player's Union didn't allow their members to take independent tests. Still, if his description of Sosa's reaction is genuine, it's worth noting. Plus, Sosa's production fell off of a cliff the moment mandatory testing began.

**You know what I wanna see? McGwire gets elected to the Hall of Fame and, instead of an induction speech, he just says "I'm not here to talk about the past."

They're Dropping Like Flies

Who are "they," you ask? Well, unfortunately, it's two "theys."

First, the channel selection in my room. I've already opined on Widener's woefully limited cable package, but it's getting worse. A few days ago, ESPN2 turned into a black screen. And just yesterday, Discovery went all static and now A&E just says "no signal" in the upper left corner. What the hell is going on? Why are my channels dieing? Discovery had several good shows: Mythbusters, Survivorman, Cash Cab... It was like the History Channel super-sub. Now the only watchable cable networks I have left are ESPN and CNN. And the latter is stretching it. ARGH!!!

Today's myth: the mysteriously disappearing cable channels!

Secondly, and more seriously, the Red Sox. Their injury woes are somehow getting worse as well. Last night our ace closer Jonathan Papelbon strained his shoulder (out for a week) and Curt Schilling will miss a start with a strained labrum. And worst of all (by far), promising young starting pitcher Jon Lester was diagnosed with lymphoma, although thankfully the Non-Hodgkin's type. Now, I don't mean to make light of his situation, but just what in the world is going on in the Red Sox's clubhouse? Irregular heart beats, strained backs, strained hips, strained shoulders, and now cancer!?

The currently injured are now: Manny, Ortiz, Nixon, Varitek, Wakefield, Clement, Schilling, Papelbon, Lester, Pena and Gonzalez. Of what would be our healthy line up, we have three hitters (Youks, Loretta, Lowell) available and one pitcher (Beckett). That's FOUR players out of FOURTEEN. Fifteen if you include the closer. This is not how I hoped Josh Beckett would become the ace of the rotation.

And yet I hear talking heads blaming Theo Epstein for the Red Sox's struggles. They say he's lost his touch, that he failed to make a move at the deadline. I say bullcrap. How can you blame the GM for the team's struggles when 70% of the team he constructed is hurt and can't even take the field?

I digress.

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PS- Go Wake! Get better soon, Ben.

Ladies and Gentleman, A New Record

I have a long-going theory that movies come in pairs. This started in the late 90's, with 1998's asteroid flicks Deep Impact and Armageddon; again in '98 with bug movies Antz and A Bug's Life; then in '99, when we learned that reality is really virtual in The Matrix and The Thirteenth Floor. It continued in 2001 with computer-animated monsters in Shrek and Monsters, Inc. After that, the trend kinda tapered off.

(don't worry i'm getting to the point)

However, in the past year-or-so, we've seen the trend return as paired movies are churning out of Hollywood at a furious pace. 2005 gave us spelunkers-in-crisis in The Cave and The Decent; Madagascar ('05) and The Wild ('06) were about zoo animals running loose in New York City; and 2006 will give us The Illusionist and The Prestige, both period pieces about magicians.

(almost there...)

But now, I'm excited to say, a new standard has been set in paired movies. I'm sure the three of you have at least heard about Capote, the 2005 bio about writer Truman Capote which won Philip Seymour-Hoffman an Oscar. And in 2006, we'll be treated to Infamous. Here's the thing:

It's the EXACT SAME STORY.

(ta da!)

Capote? Check. Writing his book, In Cold Blood? Check. To Kill A Mockingbird scribe Harper Lee showing up to help? Check. Annoying lisp? Check! Check check check check check. I can only put it so many ways: it's the same damn movie, just different actors.

Where does a gay horse sleep? In the haaaaayohforgetit.

Anyway, just thought you should know.