Live from the Land of Tax-Free Shopping, it's.. um, law school. Woo.

And I'm your host, Tom. Hi there.

Coming up here, I completely blew away Google Map's estimated driving time of 10 hours and 21 minutes with a blitzing 7 hours and 17 minutes. That's an average speed of 71 MPH for a 515 mile journey. Considering the multiple tolls and slow downs around the Baltimore and DC area, you could say I was being very... efficient... on the highways.

Pwnd.

This is the first time in my life I've taken up residence in a state other than North Carolina. I know Delaware (or D-ware as the cool kids call it, ok not really) isn't the Ivory Coast or anything, but there's still some things I have to get used to. In no particular order...

10. Widener's cable package does not include the History Channel. So far, that's what's been hardest to adjust too. I made the viewing of THC a second religion last year, and now I've been reduced to crap like Headline News and E!. And it's not just THC I've been robbed of. Except for the EPSNs and NBC (for Conan), I've been wiped of virtually all the networks I enjoy. No Fox News. No USA. No Sci-Fi. No HBO or Showtime. No Vh1 and their strangely entertaining shows. Ditto for Comedy Central and the Cartoon Network. I don't even get the friggin preview channel. What do they expect me to do here, study?

The Roman Legion can't believe it either.

9. Where did all the sweet tea go? Am I really going to have to brew it myself? And even when I do find "sweetened" tea, it's invariably that odd raspberry flavor. Does Bojangles publish a recipe? Speaking of which...

8. The closest Bojangles is 54 miles away. And if you don't think I already printed out the directions... you are clearly underestimating a southern boy's passion for southern food.

7. Going by license plates, everyone here is from Pennsylvania, New Jersey or Delaware. Aside from my own, I've found three plates from below the Mason-Dixon line, and two were from Florida, which clearly does not count. These Yanks better listen up when I'm called on in class and share my folksy wisdom from back down on the farm...

6. The road Widener is located on is Concord Pike and my home in NC is a few miles from the town of Concord. So that gave me a sense of familiarity, until I learned that "Concord" is now apparently pronounced "conquered." Um, no. It's Concord. CON. CORD. You don't pronounce "cord" like "kurd." Do people say "Aw, crap, I broke my spinal kurd?" NO!!!

5. Beer and wine aren't sold in grocery stores. That's just plain dumb.

4. Obviously, there's no Cookout, but there is the Charcoal Pit, which is similar in the sense it serves ice cream and good, cheap food.

3. This summer, Chris introduced me to Five Guys restaurant, and I stumbled across one just five minutes from campus, even though it's actually in Pennsylvania. Anyway, the burgers there are insanely good. The base price is pretty high for a semi-fast food joint ($4.49 for a double cheeseburger) but you do get to choose any or all of their 14 toppings free of charge. I guess what I'm saying is that if you take one part Charcoal Pit and and one part Five Guys, you almost have a Cookout.

The menu is also maddingly simple. They have burgers, hot dogs, grilled cheese and fries. Seriously, thats it. Chickens would behoove themselves to endorse Five Guys.

"Eat mor burgerz. Ba-gok!"

2. Eating on campus is very tricky. The Barristers' Club, the only on-campus food court (which so far has actually been above par), closes at 2pm. I wouldn't mind this as much if there were kitchens in the dorms, which there aren't. And I wouldn't mind that as much if we could use toasters or in-door grills in our rooms, which we can't. And I would mind that less if we could cook outside, which we can't do either. So basically, if you want hot food past 2pm, you have to microwave or eat out. To do otherwise is an affront to all Delawanese values.

1. Yeah, yeah, there's no sales tax. That 99 cent taco at Taco Bell really costs 99 cents. I'll admit, that part is pretty sweet.

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Editor's Note: I imagine that I'll be keeping this blog fairly active during my first year. I'm sure my three readers will at least somewhat enjoy it. I know, I know... L1 is maddness, you won't have time, blah blah blah. No, I will have time. This is me for crying outloud. My brain explodes if I study for more than three hours straight, and let me tell you it is a bitch to clean up. In the next 9 months, I should be giving some crazy/nightmarish stories about L1, along with my usual debatably humorous* takes on sports and entertainment.

As always, stay tuned.

*"Debatably humorous" is a trademark of Locke & Load, Inc. and is not to be used in any manner or form without expressed, written consent of blah blah blah whatever.