nitpicking espn

The YMCA had the Euro 2008 match on one of the TVs, and I noticed that the scoreboard graphic had Spain abbreviated as "ESP," short for "España." But Germany was still abbreviated as "GER." If we're going with the native-tongue names for countries, shouldn't it be "DEU" for "Deutschland?"

I demand answers!

i want to be a bobcats fan. i do.

but when Jerryd Bayless AND Brook Lopez are both there for the taking AND YOU DON'T TAKE EITHER, it's kinda hard to get that ball rolling.

trot watch update

Trot Nixon is back in the bigs. I wanted to make note of this several days ago, but I wanted a picture in his new Mets #6 uniform to go along with it, and until now I've been unable to find one. He had signed with the Diamondbacks before spring training and toiled around their Triple-A club until he was traded to the Mets, who immediately called him for their depleted outfield. Here he is high-fiving Brian Schneider after hitting a solo homer yesterday.

duke sucks. by law.

You might have seen this by now, but it's too good to pass up. Duke backed out of their contract with Louisville to play 4 football games, so Louisville sues for breach. Duke's defense: there's a clause that says damages are only rewarded if Louisville can't find a "team of a similar stature" to play instead, and because Duke sucks so much, any team is of at least up to their stature. And the Judge bought it. Thus, by law, Duke sucks at football.

Bonus fun: watch the video to find out what happens when a switch hitter meets an ambidextrous pitcher.

re: prisoner of azkaban

Definitely my favorite Potter book so far. Unnecessary Gripe List:

• Has anyone ever accused J.K. Rowling of being anti-fat? Save for Draco Malfoy, whenever a character is introduced and we're supposed to not like them, they're invariably described as "pudgy" or "porky" or "thick-necked." Uncle Vernon, Dudley, Draco's two cronies, any girl from Slytherin, Peter Pettigrew. And of course the hero of the series is always described as being exceptionally skinny.
• Acid Pops. Let me get this straight. Some wizard business sells a candy that will literally - and intentionally - burn a hole right through your tongue. Amusing at first, until you realize that means magic folk are OK with putting torture in a bag and selling it to children. That's not just a plot hole; that's a giant, gaping abyss in the Potter Space/Time Continuum, swallowing up and regurgitating inside-out every conceivable approach to logic, law, business, marketing, and basic morality.
• The house mascot of Gryffindor is... a lion? Shouldn't it be, you know, a griffin? And wiki tells me the house mascot of Ravenclaw is....an eagle? What's with that? I get the feeling Rowling would have made the Buffalo Bills' mascot an ox.
• I noticed a big plot hole concerning Lupin's werewolf-ness. In the book, its explained that he turns all wolfy whenever the full moon comes around - as a student he went to the Shrieking Shack as to not be a danger to anyone and as a professor he holed himself up in his office. But when Lupin turns wolfy toward the end of the book, he doesn't do so until the full moon comes out from behind the clouds and beams light down on him. So which is it, Rowling? Does he turn due to the full moon's presence alone or does he require the moonlight to hit him?
• I guess the teachers live at Hogwarts? Is there like a Faculty Apartments Tower?
• Harry still hasn't lost a Quidditch match, fair and square (meaning, no injuries, no dementors on the field, etc.)

Bonus thoughts on Philosopher's Stone movie:

• The best child actor on the cast is the kid who plays Draco Malfoy. He plays an 11-year old asshole - that's very tricky to look convincing, and this kid nails it.
• Radcliffe and Watson were pretty good, and that's coming from a guy who generally can't stand child actors. Rupert Grint gets on my nerves, though, sorry buddy.
• The kids who play Fred and George were horrible. Must have been hard to find 12-year old twin red-head British actors.
• Coltrane and Rickman are the best parts of the movie, along with my own amusement at noticing Watson's impending hotness.
  

what kiefer did over the 24 holiday

He made a movie that I swear's been made twenty times already.

Mirrors:


Not to be confused with The Ring, or The Eye, or The Ring 2, or The Grudge, or Dark Water, or The Grudge 2, or any other "oh no weird evil ghostly stuff and oh look it got the kid" movies.

i get the most boring grades imaginable

Two B-'s, one B, one B+. Snooze. My mind had gotten so used to this 9 - 5 business at the firm that I had completely forgotten about grades, or even that I'm still just a student, until tonight. The B+ actually came from the exam that scared me the most: Professional Responsibility. It was 3 hours long and I finished in just over 2 hours, which is not even close to normal. I checked my answers, reread the questions, reread my copy of the Model Rules, twiddled my thumbs for a bit and waited for someone to turn their exam in. No dice. I had finished obscenely early, and seeing as how I'm no genius, should mean I left out something huge. I resigned myself to this fate and turned in my blue books, again the first to do so, at an even 2 hours and 30 minutes.

And what was the consequence of this most unusual turn of events? The same old boring B, albeit with the "+" cherry on top. Go figure.

re: chamber of secrets

I saw a motorcycle today with what can best be described as giant training wheels. It was weird. Anyway, on to my pointless nit-picking of the second Potter book. My goal is to read the entire series by the end of the summer.

• I still don't like the House Cup points system. Gryffindor wins because Harry risks life and limb by confronting the most evilest wizard of all-time and Dumbledore rewards him with like 500 points each time. Think about the standard that sets for the rest of the school, Dumbly. You're telling these kids that the only way to win the Cup is to put their lives in mortal danger.
  
• What's up with the high degree of variances in the speed of broomsticks? Isn't it completely unfair that some Quidditch players get lightening fast models and others are slow and out-dated?
• Is Harry ever actually going to lose a Quidditch match? If he continues to be undefeated then I'm going to lose interest. Grow a pair, Rowling.
  
• Ron doesn't even know what a telephone is? I'm calling bull on this one, as in, this is not even possible. The Weasleys live in a Muggle neighborhood for crying out loud. You're telling me they've never heard of the freaking telephone, the most common electrical device in the world? I bet these guys know what a God-blessed telephone is.
• Dobby getting his freedom was total bush league. Malfoy didn't give him the sock, he tossed it aside and Dobby grabbed it. If that was legit, then all any house elf would have to do to win his freedom is sneak up on their masters when they take off their jacket or something, grab it and just run away. The movie version made so much more sense.
  

Things I was relieved to have happened...

• Maybe it's because I read a paper-back version this time, but the Americanization of the text appears to have ended or at least largely scaled-back, as evidenced by the use of the word "paddock," which Wikipedia tells me is the name for an enclosure for livestock in British English.