James Cameron Takes Lt. Dan Literally, Actually Finds Jesus

The news will be shocking to many. But to me, it's really just confusing. I had already downgraded Jesus to demi-god level (see: Muhammad, Gilgamesh, Ron Hubbard) after Tom Hanks told me him and Magdalene (that old dame) started a line of French kings. I mean, the French! I can't worship them!

But then the whole thing was rendered moot when Brian Flemming told me the Apostles were just joking about that "Jesus" guy. Sure, I was disappointed, but I felt worse for the Merovingians, since it turns out their grand pappy didn't even exist. But they tried to kill Keanu Reeves, so I guess they had it coming. Plus, this one is actually hooking up with Lady Magdalene herself, which is just wrong. Didn't he read about Oedipus? Perv.

But now James Cameron is telling me Jesus really did exist (you can breathe, Frenchies). As it turns out, Mr. Cameron didn't fall off the face of the planet after directing Titanic. In fact, he's been spending the past ten years translating the ultimate code: common Jewish names written on tombs! This ground breaking discovery that 1st century Jews not only buried their dead but were also literately proficient sends the pendulum swinging back. First, Jesus was The Savior, then more of a ladies man/Savior, then he didn't exist at all. Now, we're back to existence, but that Savior-dom needs work. If only C.S. Lewis was a documentary filmmaker...

Sill Here

I forgot how unbelievably easier law school is when you haven't been assigned a legal methods memo yet. I start my semester settling into a structured-but-not-too-unpleasant routine of sleeping, eating, and reading. Things go smoothly, and I actually got several classes ahead in all my subjects. Then I had to begin my memo research. Now I'm not ahead in any of my subjects. While that would be par for the course last semester, now it feels like I'm dreadfully behind. Anyway, that's the reason for going on an odd post-per-day run, then disappearing for a week. The busy-ness of law school can creep up from behind and DDT you* before you even realize that play time is over.

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Today I had my first fantasy baseball draft of the year. I picked 11th in a traditional 12-team, 5x5 roto league. Let's see how it went.

1. David Ortiz (1B-Bos)
2. Vladimir Guerrero (OF-LAA)
I felt exceptionally lucky to grab these two sluggers with the 11th and 14th overall picks, considering they ranked 7th and 9th on my draft board.
3. Roy Oswalt (SP-Hou)
4. Roy Halladay (SP-Tor)
And now I have two aces under my belt. Getting four proven fantasy stars like Ortiz, Guerrero, Oswalt and Halladay is a great way to start a draft.
5. J.J. Putz (RP-Sea)
6. Carlos Guillen (SS-Det)
Wish you could draft Derek Jeter in the 6th round? You can. His name is Carlos Guillen.
7. Alex Gordon (3B-KC)
Probably my first big misstep in the draft. I panicked after a surprisingly long run on thid basemen. Gordon will be a great player some day, but definitely isn't worth a 7th round pick this year. Then again he could go .300/20/20 right outta the gate.
8. Matt Cain (SP-SF)
9. Takashi Saito (RP-LAD)
78.1 innings, 107 k's, 3 home runs allowed. Yes, please!
10. Magglio Ordonez (OF-Det)
11. Mark Teahen (3B,OF-KC)
Insurance for Gordon, but now I have two Royals. Gulp.
12. Josh Barfield (2B-Cle)
13. Dave Bush (SP-Mil)
Wake Forest! Drafting Cain and Bush gives me four of the top 15 starting pitchers off my draft board. I probably ranked Bush way too high, but he's a Deacon!
14. Michael Cuddyer (1B,OF-Min)
15. Ryan Freel (2B,3B,OF-Cin)
Resident stolen base guy. Plus, love that position flexibility.
16. Joe Borowski (RP-Cle)
17. Scott Olsen (SP-Fla)
18. Jason Varitek (C-Bos)
I "punted" on catchers, waiting until the 18th round to take one. If Varitek can hit 15/.280 I'll be perfectly satisfied, and I don't think that's asking for too much.
16. Jhonny Peralta (SS-Cle)
17. Bob Howry (RP-ChC)
Will probably be the Cubs' closer if (when) Dempster stumbles. And even if not, he still has excellent value as a set-up man.
18. Gerald Laird (C-Tex)

Overall, I'm pretty happy, especially with my first six picks. My biggest strength will be in pitching, which is kind of odd considering my first two picks were elite hitters. My biggest weakness is definitely relying on two of Gordon, Teahen and Freel to be worthy of starting. One has to start at third, and another will have to be at utility, since Peralta and Laird are purely there to be back-ups in case of injury.

*Let's ignore the fact that that the DDT is a move from the front, not behind, k?

Who's Last Now!?

Not only did today's 74-69 win over Miami send Wake to it's first winning streak since Jan. 6th (when we - get this - beat Miami), but it also sends us screaming out of last place in the ACC, on a sure-fire charge to take the ACC Tourney by storm! Ok, probably, not... but we're still undefeated in our 1962 throwbacks, seen above. Now if only we could paint them black for the road, the world really would be our oyster.

Deacon Unis Make the Big Time

Wake Forest's 1962 throwback jerseys from our victory over the once 17-0 Clemson Tigers received special attention in today's entry over at Uni Watch.

The heart of the discussion is that the decision to wear the jerseys was an ad hoc move by the coaching staff and the curious fact that the jerseys still had the 100th season patch from last season.

Something is Amiss with Yahoo Sports

About half-way down the Yahoo Sports front page, there's a section called "Who's Hot? Fantasy Performers." They list the top three "hot" guards, forwards and centers, along with the top three "not" players at the same positions. The thing is, the players selected as being "hot" and "not" (and the three stats shown to exemplify said hotness and notness over the past week) are uncanningly random and nonsensical.

I tell you this now because two of today's hot and not players are some of the most erroneous to date.

The #1 "hot" center is Jason Collins, with these three 7-day averages are shown as evidence: 1.000 FT%, 0.0 turnovers, 0.8 blocks. Meanwhile, the #3 "not" center is Chris Bosh, with these averages shown: .541 FG%, 1.0 blocks, 23.3 points. Now, which one is supposed to struggling? And how does playing a few games without a turnover and going 2-2 from the charity stripe make you the hottest center in the NBA?

I know I may be the only one on the planet who cares about Yahoo's choices for hot and not players, but the selections can be so incredibly arbitrary and counter intuitive I feel someone should at least take note of it.

I Smell Baseball

Facts about today, in descending order of uplifting-ness.

Edit: 1a) Wake wins!!!

1) Pitchers and catchers for nine teams reported. Baseball shall return soon.

2) It's been snowing pretty hard the past two days and driving through snow-packed parking lots is beyond fun.

3) There's a filet mignon defrosting in my fridge. Mmm...

4) I mailed out my summer abroad applications today, three to programs in London and one to a program that goes to London, Paris, Geneva and Brussels, spending about a week in each city.

5) Someone locked all the stalls in my hall's bathroom. So that was... odd.

6) It's Valentine's day, which I'm pretty sure is only enjoyed by women in relationships. For anyone else its either depressing or stressful.

MLB.com got hacked... bad

This is what I got logging into MLB.com's home page. A very long list of porn links.























Abner Doubleday would be proud.

The Bizzarro Sports Weekend

As if Peyton Manning winning the Super Bowl wasn't enough weirdness...

• #25 Clemson loses to a struggling Georgia Tech (we beat them for crying out loud! By double digits!)
• #16 Virginia Tech loses to an unranked (though ACC-leading) Boston College
• #3 UNC loses to a nondescript NC State
• Florida State beats #8 Duke (who is now barely above .500 in the ACC) in Cameron Indoor.

OK, so that list only includes ACC basketball. If you want me to expand the list to include odd variances of fantasy basketball performances, I will! That's what I thought. Back to the Super Bowl...

The seeming consensus from the many sports blogs I frequent is that last night's game was uninspiring and dull. I couldn't disagree more. It rained for the first time in Super Bowl history. The opening kick-off was returned for a touchdown. An interception was returned for a touchdown. There were two instances of back-to-back fumbled turnovers. Adam Vinatieri missed a field goal. These bloggers seem to have become too accustomed to the Brady drivin', Vinatieri kickin', Dyson tacklin', Elway helicopterin', drama-filled "defining moments" of the past decade and need to recognize an entertaining game when they see it. Either that or they're just disappointed they can't ridicule Peyton anymore.

Make Sure to Watch the Game the Legal Way

From this article about the NFL prohibiting a church from showing the Super Bowl...

"The NFL objected to the church's plans to use a projector to show the game, saying the law limits it to one TV no bigger than 55 inches."

That's right. If you dare invite some friends over to watch the game on one of these 62-inchers..

... then you've broken the law. Instances like this, along with the news that MLB will limit its Extra Innings package (which lets you watch your favorite team's games out-of-market) to DirectTV subscribers only, I fear that sports leagues are forgetting about what should be a major goal: appeasing its hard core fans. I know it's a business and they have every right to control and profit from their product, but that product is a major part of the American culture. It should be treated as something more than just a cash cow.