studying sux

As I sit here studying my various, beloved legal subjects and issues, there is but a single movie scene that I feel a certain sense of... identification with.

From Almost Heroes, the most underrated comedy of all time.

don't watch "there will be blood."

I've already mentioned this to a couple people, but it bears repeating. Don't see the Paul Thomas Anderson "masterpiece" film about the early 20th century oil business, "There Will Be Blood." Why? Because it really, really sucks.

More specifically, there is no plot. At all. Nothing happens. It's Daniel Day-Lewis looking for oil and he gets annoyed by this religious kid played by Paul Dano. There. I just described the first hour and a half of the movie, and I'm pretty sure the rest of the movie is just him looking for more oil and him and Dano disliking each other even more. I would have to quote the dialogue line-by-line to give you a more detailed summary. Is the acting amazing? Yes, by both DDL and Dano. Are the sets amazing? Yes. But no where in the first half of the film (I had to stop watching half-way to protect my own sanity) does anything happen that makes you the least bit interested in what is coming next. You just don't care. And its no wonder: how am I suppose to wonder how things will end if nothing of note began in the first place?

I can't emphasize this enough: it's the most mind-numbingly dull and insufferably boring half-a-movie I've ever seen. And I saw Hercules in New York. At least that had the dignity to have Arnold fight a man in a bear suit.

So instead of wasting hours of your life with this snooze fest, enjoy the parodical "milkshake" summary of the film below. I can't even give you a spoiler warning because THERE'S NOTHING TO SPOIL.

"The sons of Wake Forest are unrivaled."

Here's an article from the GNO that I enjoyed: "Wake alumni shine."

The first weekend of NBA playoff games belonged in large part to Wake Forest University.

While there were several standout performances, including a few by former Duke and North Carolina stars, the combined output of ex-Deacons Tim Duncan for San Antonio and Chris Paul for New Orleans was sensational.

In a double-overtime 117-112 win over Phoenix and Shaquille O'Neal on Saturday, Duncan had 40 points, 15 rebounds and five assists in what had to rate as one of his better games ever, which is saying something.

Predictably, Duncan downplayed his statistical line and pointed to the importance of winning at home in the opening game in the first-round Western Conference series. Since his days as a freshman at Wake Forest, Duncan always has been an unassuming, team-first player. There were times early on when he was visibly embarrassed by the public praise he got from then-Wake coach Dave Odom.

Duncan has aged with such grace that it's difficult to believe that he will turn 32 on Friday. For an NBA big man who rarely takes a prolonged game rest, much less an entire day off, Duncan has logged a lot of miles. He's at a career stage where a good many NBA players are past their primes and beginning to consider retirement.

When San Antonio made Duncan the No. 1 overall pick in the 1997 NBA Draft, which was held in Charlotte, the Spurs were a 20-62 team and under some fan pressure to skip Duncan in favor Utah's Keith Van Horn, another big man who was rated as a potentially better mid-range shooter.

Obviously, the Spurs made the correct call. Van Horn is nearing the end of an average career. Duncan already has Hall of Fame credentials and may yet play on a fifth championship team.

New Orleans can see a similar career path for Paul, a third-year player who is on the verge of becoming the league's best point guard. He began the playoffs with 35 points and 10 assists in the Hornets' 104-92 win over Dallas, which got 17 points from its own ex-Deacon, Josh Howard.

Although Paul went fourth in the 2005 NBA Draft, he's beginning to look like a steal. That draft began with Milwaukee and Atlanta taking big men: Utah sophomore Andrew Bogut to the Bucks and Carolina freshman Marvin Williams to the Hawks. The Utah Jazz picked third and took Illinois guard Deron Williams.

Like most young big men, Bogut and Marvin Williams are taking a while to adjust to the NBA offensive flow. Deron Williams quickly has emerged as an integral part of Utah's lineup.

But no one in that 2005 draft has made more of an impact than Paul, who won the top rookie award and was the most important factor in the Hornets improving from 18-64 in 2004-05 to 38-44 in 2005-06.

The Hornets didn't reach the playoffs in Paul's rookie season and came up just short in his second, but this season there wasn't a more consistent team from the start of the regular season to the finish. With former Garner High standout David West playing another key role, the Hornets are the quickest team in the NBA.

Mavericks coach Avery Johnson, a former NBA player, went so far as to say that Paul's elusive moves will dictate a quick change in defensive strategy. "We've got to find a way to stay in front of him," Johnson said.

Each team has played only one playoff game. Duncan's legs may yet tire, and Paul could have trouble dealing with Dallas' defensive adjustments. But one weekend into the marathon playoff grind, the sons of Wake Forest are unrivaled.

That's how we do it in SAAAANNN ANNNN TOE NE OHHH!!!!

Tim Duncan exploded for 40 points and 15 rebounds in Game 1 against the Suns. The best of those points came on an insanely clutch three-pointer to tie the game at 104 with three seconds left in the first OT. His first three since last season. Absolutely unreal - he's a different player in the playoffs.

Images with the corresponding sounds that emanated from my apartment follows.

"Oh, no way..."

"HOLY $%&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

i guarantee this is the strangest thing you've seen all day

A Russian military choir and a Finnish rock band singing "Sweet Home Alabama." In English.

when i own a baseball team

After someone requested some new posts, I decided to take an old idea out of storage, dust it off, and present it for the world to see.

This nifty little link allows one to create their own baseball uniform. I took advantage and designed the outfits for the next great baseball franchise - the Carolina Colonials.

Home:

Away:

Alternate:


Wake Forest colors, of course. I went with "Colonials" because of the alliteration with "Carolina" and North Carolina was home to the first English colony. I fell in love with this little idea so much I had some fun with Word and Paint to make some logo ideas. A quick sample:

The whole smorgasbord of virtual doodles can be found here. I used a "Yold Anglican" font for the big "C" and a "Morpheus" font for the rest. The two white stars represent North and South Carolina, as if they were the same two white stars from Old Glory that stand for the Carolinas. So if I happen upon a cool 200 million and the Marlins or DEVIL Rays are up for sale, I'm ready to go.

ethical dilemma

So right now I'm in the Widener library for the 30 minutes I have between my Sales and my Professional Responsibility classes. A girl from my Sales class just walked up to me and asked me if I'm in Friedman's Sales class, I say I am, and she politely asks if she can "borrow my notes." Since we're graded on the curve I don't like the giving away my notes, but I saw her in class today and figure maybe she accidentally deleted her notes or something, so I say sure and give her a piece of paper to write her down her e-mail address. She does so, but also writes

"Assignment 8 - today."

Uh... what?! Assignment 8 was over two months ago! I thought she just meant today's notes! She's basically asking for all the work I've ever done in that class. Couldn't she ask one of her exchange student buddies (I think they're from China)?

What do I do?

a) don't send the notes and pretend that she never talked to me
b) send her all my notes, but make "Free Tibet!" the subject.
c) send her an "abridged" version of my notes.

I'm leaning towards (c), but that's going to take time to randomly delete portions of what I took down, but not too much to be noticeable.

Any ideas?

l&l endorses chris paul for mvp

For anyone who hasn't been paying attention to the NBA (re: everyone), Wake's former All-American PG has been pretty much tearing up the basketball world this season. The Hornets have the best record in the West with CP3 leading the way. As evidence of The Mayor's MVP-worthiness, I present to you the per-game averages put up in Steve Nash's two MVP seasons, compared to what Chris is doing this year.


Stat -------- Steve Nash, MVP years ------------- Chris Paul, this year

Points: ------15.5, 18.9 ------------------------------- 21.5
FG%: -------50.2, 51.2 ------------------------------- 49.1
FT%: -------88.7, 92.1 ------------------------------- 85.3
Threes: -----1.3, 1.9 --------------------------------- 1.2
Rebounds: --3.3, 4.2 --------------------------------- 4.0
Assists: -----11.5, 10.5 -------------------------------11.5
Steals: ------1.0, 0.8 --------------------------------- 2.7
Turnovers: --3.3, 3,5 --------------------------------- 2.5


More points, more steals, less turnovers, same assists and FG%, Chris Paul is unquestionably having a better season than Steve Nash when he won his MVPs.

I realize there is a giant flaw in this argument, since I'm not comparing Chris's stats to what other players are doing this season (or what other players did in Nash's MVP seasons), but I'm three weeks away from my first exam. Give me a break.