question: who the hell is "an'juan wilderness?"

Answer: our worst nightmare. But seriously. "Wilderness?" "Wilderness!?"

I hope this isn't a bad omen for our supposedly destined matchup against UConn in Charlotte. Which will be the least watched bowl game in the history of the universe.

these topics have nothing to do with each other

Wake Forest got the biggest win of the year with a 56-47 victory over Iowa. We led the whole way and let the lead get a little small in the final minute, but the outcome was never really in doubt. Chas "Don't Pronounce It 'Chaz'" McFarland came out of nowhere to put up 15 points, 8 boards, 2 steals and 3 blocks. In fact, Chas was the only player on either team to have a good game. Something must have been off with the rims, because the teams combined to shoot a horrific 38 of 106 from the field and 24 of 47 from the stripe. I loved Dino's three-piece, but the pleat in the back has to go.

Game Highlights.

Halftime segment about Dino dealing with Skip's passing.

---------------------------

Due to the writer's strike, a classic Leno from 1992 is being shown on NBC. It was Tom Hanks' first appearance on the Tonight Show, and I think Julia Robert's first appearance will be on tomorrow. Things I found interesting:

• Monologue topics included "President Bush," a Batman movie, Geraldo Rivera, and even a joke about Hillary Clinton running for president.
  
• There was zero interaction with the band leader (this was while Kevin Eubanks was just the guitarist). I'm not even sure if then-leader Branford Marsalis had a mic.
  
• The back drop was a hilly ocean coastline. It looked like the interior of a Chinese buffet.
  
• This was Leno's first year as host, and even though he had been guest host for several years prior, he wasn't fluid at all and was clearly still getting used to the whole thing. There was zero transition between segments,which made the show feel too structured and just plain flat. Contrast this to the modern Late Night, which is full of Conan improv'ing between segments and even individual jokes, making it incredibly watchable and durable.
  
• Tom Hanks had a great jewfro. I know he's not Jewish, but it was a jewfro nonetheless.
  
• Leno had pretty big hair too, and there was a bit of ex post facto irony when they both showed older pictures of themselves joking how they "used" to have big hair.
• The show order was: first guest, musical act, second guest; which seemed like talk show heresy to me.
  
• The whole show was very "soft" in terms of volume. I could barely hear what anyone was saying, so I turned the volume way up, which caused me to flinch when our modern, loud, get-your-attention-quick commercials came on.
  

my first cousin once-removed is the 66th best 11-year old golfer in the country and other things i learned or happened this holiday

To get Wake Forest to the best bowl possible, the following events all help: us winning (duh), Maryland beating State, VaTech beating Virginia, Florida State losing, BC beating Miami, and BC beating VaTech in the ACC Championship so the ACC can have two BCS eligible teams.

As luck would have it, everything that could have happened so far has happened. All this means we should avoid being banished to the Emerald Bowl in San Fran. It's down to either Charlotte, Nashville, or Orlando. I'm pulling for Nashville.

I got to see my first basketball game of the season as Wake played W-S State. What might have been an uneventful game to anyone else was a sight for sore eyes for this Deacon.

Thanksgiving travel update: what a let down. There was literally no line at US Airways check-in and it took me all of three minutes to go through security. My plane arrived of time, left on time, landed on time. Where's the holiday travel drama? Very disappointing.

Finally, WATCH ESPN2 MONDAY NIGHT AT 7. We're playing Iowa in the Big Televen/ACC Challenge.

"You laugh now, wait till you get home."

Today's title is a direct quote from a recent "fortune" cookie I had the indignity of receiving. My local Chinese food provider is now threatening me with sadness.

I've been slaving over my motion for summary judgment for the past week. Yesterday I turned that SOB in and it felt good. If anyone is dealing with a false light invasion of privacy case in Delaware, talk to me. I now know more about that subject than I ever wanted.

While I was distracted, Wake Forest sports have been playing pretty well. In football, we bounced back from a horrific loss in Clemson for a nice win over NC State. That puts us at 7-5 and ensures us of a bowl. Whether we beat Vandy will determine if we go somewhere interesting like Nashville for the Music City Bowl or get the Honorable Mention Bowl in Charlotte.

Basketball got off to a good start with wins over Fairfield and NC Central. We shot a LOT of 3's in this first games: 14 of 29 and 4 of 21 respectively. Each of our starting five can makes shots from beyond the arc, so look for that as a theme thorough the season. James Johnson has been great on D with five steals and two blocks already.

By the by, if you want a real blog devoted to Wake Forest sports than check out the Old Gold and Blog. It's pretty much what this place would be if I had the proper time/energy/intelligence.

Tomorrow I'm gearing up for a new challenge: the biggest travel day of the year at a major airport (Philly). God be with me.

stuff from all over

Gaming: I can't wait to get my hands on a copy of Assassin's Creed. You get to play as a Muslim assassin who terrorizes the Catholic Church. That won't be awkward at all.

Technology: My not-that-old Creative Zen MicroPhoto mp3 player suddenly died, so I got a new toy. Props to Amazon and UPS for delivering it to me a mere 50 hours after I ordered it.

Baseball: The Red Sox might have quite a boring off-season. Schilling already re-upped to an extremely reasonable deal, and progress is being made on Lowell. The only thing left is trading Coco (to make room for Ellsbury) and sorting out the back end of the bullpen. Still, I'll always take "boring" over a reality-altering signing of you-know-who.

Word is Boston is thinking about a six man rotation. This actually makes some sense. Forty-somethings Schilling and Wakefield could use the lighter schedule, Daiskue obviously wore out at the end of last season, and Lester and Buchholz would have an easier transition to full-time starting duty. The biggest downside would be less Beckett, but there's no rule saying he couldn't be used on four days rest while everyone else gets five/six days.

The Strike: It's only been three days and the writer's strike is already taking a toll. The Office only has two completed episodes left to air, Fox won't start airing 24 unless they know they can film the "full day," and Heroes re-shot some scenes to work as an early season finale. At least Scrubs said they've already shot 12 of the 18 ordered episodes.

Even though I generally dislike unions, and strikes even more, I actually agree with some of the writers' complaints. As I understand it, they don't get any residuals for online revenue (iTunes downloads, ads shown during episodes streamed online, etc.) whereas producers, directors and actors do. Supposedly they're also getting shafted on DVD residuals, but I don't know enough to have a stand on that. Irregardless, picketing will always be stupid and pointless. Woo hoo, you put a sign on a stick and rhymed something with "1, 2, 3, 4."

I couldn't help but think of some ways for shows like Late Night to work around the strike. Obviously the interviews and musical guests could be done without writers. As for the monologues and "desk segments," they could try user-generated content. Get people to submit jokes over You Tube or something, and use the best ones on-air. Also, Conan has often said he wanted to do a show where it was just him dancing with the audience for an hour. What better time then now? The problem is, even if these ideas are feasible, a lot of actors and directors are supporting their writer buddies by "declining to come into work." Grrr.

Wake Forest: On Monday the Deacons had their first game since Skip passed, an exhibition win over Mars Hill. Get used to the name of James Johnson. He might be pretty special. Plus, my parents got "lower bowl" season tickets this year!

hilary (unlike hillary) goes wide right

That was a heart breaker. Our million dollar baby kicker missing the game winner. Argh!

unions suck

Some cold hard truths...

• The writer's guild will be going on strike Monday at 12:01am.
• The last time writers went on strike it lasted six months.
• Our favorite sitcoms and dramas have already taped enough episodes to get by, but...
  
• Late night talk shows can't function without writers.

This means tonight might be the last time I see Conan until the summer. Gulp.

Couldn't we just have Conan improv for an hour?