i am king, i am nothing.

I dominated (DOMINATED) my fantasy basketball league. I finished with 79 points, nine ahead of second place and twelve ahead of third. Thank you, Mr. Kevin Durant. I also dominated (DOMINATED) my fantasy hockey league. Finished with 102.5 points, second had 94 and third had 89.5. Thank you... actually, thank you ME. I earned that one.

But baseball? Good. God. Almighty. I know the season is like, five minutes old, but ARRRGGHHHHH. I'm in dead freaking last. And by a lot. I got 34.5 points, 11th place has 47.5. Every freaking day I'm like 3 for 40 with 1 RBI and 2 runs. My pitchers all have ERAs over six, all my hitters have averages below .200 (ok not really, but almost, and it feels like it anyway). Its an embarrassment to society and baseball and God Himself.

And hey, anybody see that "Silly Little Game" 30 for 30 documentary? À propos quote: "Nothing is more interesting than my fantasy baseball team, and nothing is less interesting than anyone else's."

onions

he's got'em.

i have become that guy who complains about other people ruining his place's view

my condo has a great view. it's why i got it. it's why i pointed my desk toward the balcony window - so i could surf the web, watch tv and have the water and boardwalk view all at the same time. but now there's a giant yellow dumpster in the small parking lot just next to the boardwalk. it annoys me.

and yes, i only blog here when i have a thought that i can't squeeze into 140 characters.

i have changed a tire

ran over who knows what on the interstate. so i changed the tire. in the dark. and the cold. with a cell phone for a flashlight. grrrr.

nothing gets by me!

In this news article, CNN declares that "Holmes, the 19th-century creation of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the crime-solver who employs wit and deductive reasoning, has been the most portrayed fictional character in film history: 75 actors have played him in 211 movies."

I have reason to doubt this.

IMDB says Sherlock Holmes has been played 223 times. Santa Claus... 737 times.

Solid proof would require a lot of counting, namely to tally how many of those 737 portrayals were in movies and how many in TV. But I'm willing to bet Santa's been in more movies than Holmes.

And yes, I realize I'm discussing the fictional status of Santa on Christmas Day. I hope Ed Asner doesn't need his sleigh running today. Merry Christmas!