The Evolution of Facial Hair

For the past seven weeks, I've been letting my facial hair do whatever it wanted. I was simply curious as to what would happen. Lately though, it got really itchy, so I decided it's time had come - but not before I try out some new facial hair looks. And now you have the unfortunate honor of observing the results.

First, the au-naturale. To my disappointment, my beard stops growing outward at about two weeks. After that, it kind of stays close to my face, making the beard thicker, but not necessarily longer. I fluffed it out a bit for that picture, so it didn't usually look that bad.

Next, the rock star. Over sized sideburns, over sized goatee. Great way to fit in at a heavy metal concert. Or prison.

Moving along, your standard goatee. Popular among scientists, evil twins, computer nerds and mid-life crisisers. Notice how I'm finally able to "connect" my goatee and 'stache, but only barely. This caused me to look like someone, but I'm not sure who. The Half-Life guy, maybe?

Now to the Van Dyke. No self-respecting pirate, Frenchman or Civil War veteran can do without it.

I forgot to do an Almeida / Speizio. I'm sure you're heartbroken.

And then I'm all cleaned up.

Due to logistical constraints, I wasn't able to try out the Lincoln, fu manchu, Wolverine or Hinske, the last of which seemingly every member of the Oakland Athletics is sporting.

Consider yourself enlightened.